Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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