i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
