It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
