speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
