OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
