I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You know, be my cock's hype man.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
