I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
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moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
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all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It's rum buckets o'clock
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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