What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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