She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
My breasts were aching with rage.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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