I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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