9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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