Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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