thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
