oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
