And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Couch. On fire.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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