so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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