My girlfriend figured out who you are.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
