i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
