If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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