guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
