so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
