PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
