Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
