those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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