Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
