Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
