Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
