i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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