Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize