I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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