Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
