2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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