He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
