All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
