Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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