He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
