I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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