every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
