I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
