I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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