drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
