1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
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