o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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