A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Who put my cat in the fridge?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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