the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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