Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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