I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
