its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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