Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize