What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
