I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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