so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
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I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
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After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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