there was a trapeze. enough said
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
