I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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