I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
