bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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