I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
