the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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