My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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