i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i just made my gag reflex go away.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
