Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
my poor anus
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
