Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
